WHAT'S THIS MASKED SILENCE OVER BROKEN BONES? IT'S NOTHING. A SUDDEN RELAPSE OF COMMON SENSE.

Be honest. Be upfront. All of that. What is this? This is about the future. So, there is someone, let's say it is a beautiful girl and that love is involved. We can even say that this love that is involved is unlike any other the giver of this love has felt. He is overwhelmed. Burning inside. He cannot see, or even pretend to understand, how he has gotten so lucky to have this beautiful girl to love. Now say that this beautiful girl loves him back and that her love is a considerable amount less that his.

She has loved before. She has been loved before, a great deal. This love involved many other men. There is sex involved, her experience. His? She is only his second. Him? The eighth man. The beautiful girl pulls along a bag that contains all of her past loves, these men who have embraced her over the years. There they are. Still.

Still. What is special? What makes a person special? I must admit I have an idea. I also must admit it is harsh and most people do not qualify as special in my world. One, you must see yourself as deserving, as special and therefore stay away from what could taint you. If you walk through life doing as you please, you might please to do something at a moment, at time, for a year or two, that you don't whole heartedly believe in. You are tainted. This departure from the "good" is what will never let you attain a higher status. Jesus saves and Jesus forgives, but the mind of a man is quite judgemental. I cannot save you. Only protect.

So what is this? A validation of weakness? That I cannot go on, sustained, higher and risen? Her departures will become my own? My Dear, it is fear. I have lived clean, stayed pure, and kept to a solid path. This is my own. Hers? It is hers. Now we must share and walk together or one of us will surely die, resting in Hell, clinging to a lost hope that was given up on due to the weariness of following "a good path."

There are temptations, My Dear, and to keep moving past them is tiring. But you must never give up, and if you do, it might just be that you never understood yourself in the first place. This, My Dear, is the worst sin of all.

If you do not know yourself, you cannot know anything else. This is the core of you. A solid mass is your truth that every one of your decisions and movements sprout from, each action carried out by that truth. This way, you will do no wrong and not get weary, because you can trust that you know you are going through life following what you believe in, and what you believe in is based on what you feel your life is. Selfish is important. It can be a positive quality. You cannot help others if you cannot define that term honestly for yourself. Why do you want to help others? Why do you want to do what you do?

Why do you want to fuck some random guy and call it an "adult decision"?

Yes. This is it. Rounded out. This "adult decision" is an immature excuse for being a slut.

Thank you and goodnight.

And yes, I am horrible. And yes, it does make me smile.